As I read statistics and hear stories it’s clear that Christian marriages are suffering and being destroyed more and more every day and there’s many reasons why. If we don’t begin to do something about this they will continue to suffer and if we don’t begin to show ownership in our roles in our marriages and teach them to the future generations to come more broken homes will come. After reading some scriptures and while writing this I’m reminded of these things in my marriage that could be improved and I pray this may help encourage you in your marriage and encourage the future Christian marriages to come when it comes to our responsibilities in marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. That verse just doesn’t say husbands or just wives. Husbands need to be accountable in the relationship, but also the wives need to be accountable also. Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. This verse is probably the most famous verse in the bible about being a husband and almost every woman know this and is probably quick to remind their husbands. But how about the verse right before that, Ephesians 5: 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in (everything) and Ephesians 5:33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, (and the wife must respect her husband). In both of these verses he tells the spouse something without giving them an option to pick and choose what they want to do. First he tells the husband to LOVE HIS WIFE LIKE CHRIST LOVE THE CHURCH and then he tells the wife she MUST RESPECT her husband. Ephesians 5:25 is something every Christian husbands need to be asking themselves are they doing that. As Christian wives the question needs to be asked are we doing Ephesians 24/33 along with teaching our daughters and young ladies around us these things.
If you’re a Christian husband and you don’t love your wife in the way Christ love the church your probably not going to get the respect you’re looking for. Your also going to run into problems like 1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
It’s also true that as a Christian wife if you’re a wife like describe here. Proverbs 21:9 Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Proverbs 21:19 Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.
Proverbs 12:4 A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, (but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.) It would truly be a difficult task for a Christian husband to be that Ephesians 25 husband you’re looking for under the circumstances above. As a Christian wife what part can you play in your husband becoming that Ephesians 25 husband? Well 1 Peter 3 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives. (Your behavior can win him over the bible says)
So are we truly teaching and living Colossians 3:18-19 in our marriages and being accountable in our own roles in our marriage?
18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, (as is fitting in the Lord.)19 Husbands, love your wives (and do not be harsh with them.)
Are these the reason our Christian marriages are struggling because we are not doing these things and being accountable for our own roles?
As husbands and men are we truly striving and teaching our young men how to be that Ephesians 25 husbands? 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. If we are not we should be. As Christian wives are we truly trying to strive to be that proverbs 31 woman, one who embodied Ephesians 24 and 33 and teach that to our daughters and young women?
When Paul wrote this verse quoting Genesis, Ephesians 5:31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh. I believe he put that there because that becoming of one flesh represented the roles that both the husband and wife played in their marriage and when they lived it out the way God required them to. It represented one body which represented unity, accountability and not division or finger-pointing.
When we begin to show accountability in our roles in marriage and teach them to the younger generation to come. We will truly begin to see Christian marriages blossom like a beautiful flower exactly the way God designed it.
We know what an Ephesians 5 husband looks like. But what does a proverbs 31 one woman look like.
Proverbs 31:10-31 New International Version (NIV)
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value. (Her husband benefits from her character wow)
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. (Her husband is respected because of her and he’s at his best because he has her)
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her: (She is honored amongst her husband and children)
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
I pray that husband including myself and wives in Christian marriages begin to take accountability in the roles that they play in their marriages and that young men and women who are in Christ learn these roles before they get married and benefit by having true oneness in their marriages the way God designed it in Jesus name I pray Amen!!!