God has been talking to my heart lately about us as men and husbands. We sometimes miss out on our number 1 priority that he requires of us. Some of us have no clue what that is because we didn’t have any examples growing up. We watched television and what we saw on it made some of us who we are today as a husband or father. Some of us believe that as long as we provide financially that’s it. We take our careers and put everything into it giving it all our focus time and attention. Striving to be successful at work, but not in our own home. We become this awesome leader at work and in everyone else eyes. But we don’t take that same focus and determination home to lead our families. We give less focus and attention to our home life and we find ourselves unhappy and our family unhappy and we try to figure out why we are going through this. Then comes the divorce that causes us to scratch our head wondering why or what went wrong. When all alone the signs where before our eyes and we didn’t pay attention because we were so focused on our own goals. We look at our wives failing to realize no matter how independent a women may be. Deep down in her heart she desires for us to lead the family because that’s how God designed her. Men failing to lead at home caused all of this.
Gods #1 priority for us is to lead our family. He wants us to spend time in his word together with our spouse and our children teaching them his principles. I remember one day my wife told me about this song she heard by a group called Sanctus Real called Lead Me that she really loved that she wanted me to hear. She said this multiple times to me asking me if I heard it. I finally decided to take the time to listen to it because I wanted to know what was so special about this song. I finally heard it and will share some of the lyrics with you.
“I look around and see my wonderful life, Almost perfect from the outside In picture frames, I see my beautiful wife Always smiling, but on the inside Oh, I can hear her saying, Lead me with strong hands, Stand up when I can’t, Don’t leave me, hungry for love Chasing dreams, but what about us? Show me you’re willing to fight, That I’m still the love of your life, I know we call this our home But I still feel alone, I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes, They’re just children from the outside, I’m working hard, I tell myself they’ll be fine They’re independent, but on the inside Oh, I can hear them saying, Lead me with strong hands, Stand up when I can’t Don’t leave me, hungry for love Chasing dreams, what about us? Show me you’re willing to fight, That I’m still the love of your life, I know we call this our home, But I still feel alone, So Father, give me the strength To be everything I’m called to be, Oh Father show me the way To lead them, Won’t You lead me? To lead them with strong hands, To stand up when they can’t, Don’t want to leave them, hungry for love Chasing things, that I could give up, I’ll show them I’m willing to fight, And give them the best of my life, So we can call this our home, Lead me ’cause I can’t do this alone, Father lead me ’cause I can’t do this alone. When I heard this song it brought me to tears because I knew what my wife was trying to say to me without saying it. I thought I was doing a great job leading my family. What she was saying was that I could do a better job. So we as men need to step up to the challenge and lead our families the way God want us to. Let us look at a couple of scriptures real quick.
Numbers 30:2 2 When a man makes a vow to the Lord or takes an oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he must not break his word but must do everything he said. God considers vows very seriously. So when we make them before him he holds us to them.
Deuteronomy 23:21-23 21 If you make a vow to the Lord your God, do not be slow to pay it, for the Lord your God will certainly demand it of you and you will be guilty of sin. 22 But if you refrain from making a vow, you will not be guilty. 23 Whatever your lips utter you must be sure to do, because you made your vow freely to the Lord your God with your own mouth. When you say I do to your wife and quote your marriage vows God takes them serious, and so should we.
Ecclesiastes 5:4-5 4 When you make a vow to God, do not delay to fulfill it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. 5 It is better not to make a vow than to make one and not fulfill it.
Malachi 2:13-15: 13 Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. 14 You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.15 Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring.[a] So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. God hates adultery and ever thought that goes along with it. So don’t be surprised him you miss out on some blessings because your wife doesn’t have your complete heart.
Ephesians 5-25-33: 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. This is the closest example of Christ love for us is our relationship in our marriage with our spouse.
1 Peter 3:7: 7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. We as husbands must be considerate to our wives and their feelings and treat them with due respect as one and not as a second citizen because God will hold us accountable in the end.
So husbands and fathers I encourage you to put more effort into your families than you do in your careers. They need you more and depend on your leadership more than your career does. It takes time but the first step is to try. In order to make this work the way God intended it to it requires training, because it won’t happen over night. The Bible said God presented Eve to Adam. He brought her to him as a gift and we should remember that our wives were given to us a gift from God and we should treat them as such. Even when they do something to make us upset, we should always show unconditional love. I will leave you with the song Lead Me by Sanctus Real I hope you enjoy it and pray that God use it to speak to your heart.