It’s so amazing to me how our lives today is no different from how life was back in Biblical days. We experience the same things now that they did back then. One thing that came to my spirit today was how we sometimes make others pay for our own disappointments. I remember recently after coaching my sons basketball game being disappointed in the results from the game. I was disappointed because I felt like I could have done a better job coaching. As we were driving back home from the game. My wife could see the disappointment in my eyes. So my wife tried to give me some words of encouragement, along with some advice. Instead of listening to her advice, I got defensive and upset and asked her if she wanted to coach the team. The issue here was not her at all. It was all on me, but I was taking it out on her. I’m sure we all have stories similar to this one and there are many stories like this above, that are recorded in the Bible. Some of these stories are a little more extreme. The good thing though, is that the Bible also teaches us how to overcome this issue. So lets take a look at some stories similar to this, and look at some instructions on how we can overcome this issue.

Lets talk about the story of Cain and Abel. Cain and Abel were brothers, children of Adam and Eve. Now Abel kept flocks and Cain worked the soil. Now both Cain and Abel brought an offering unto the Lord. God was pleased with Abel’s offering, but not with Cain. Cain out of anger killed his brother Abel. Genesis 4:3-8,3 In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. 4 And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, 5 but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.6 Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” 8 Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.”While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. When I went back and looked deep into the story. Cain was really disappointed in himself and the offering he brought before the Lord. So he took it out on Abel by killing him. Abel’s death had nothing to do with him. It had everything to do with Cain.

Then there’s King Saul. 1 Samuel 18:6-8, 6 When the men were returning home after David had killed the Philistine, the women came out from all the towns of Israel to meet King Saul with singing and dancing, with joyful songs and with timbrels and lyres. 7 As they danced, they sang:“Saul has slain his thousands,and David his tens of thousands.”8 Saul was very angry; this refrain displeased him greatly. “They have credited David with tens of thousands,” he thought, “but me with only thousands. What more can he get but the kingdom?” 1 Samuel 19:1, Saul told his son Jonathan and all the attendants to kill David. The reason Saul wanted to kill David was because he was jealous of David, and he felt less secure about himself. Saul wanting to kill David had nothing to do with David. David found himself in the same situation as Saul did in 2 Samuel 11. David in his attempt to cover his sin of sleeping with his soldier, Uriah’s wife and getting her pregnant had him killed in battle. This was once again all about David and not about Uriah. What David was trying to do was cover up his sin at the cost of Uriah.

Some other stories similar to this, are the story of John the Baptist, The story of Judas and the story of Peters denial of Jesus 3 times. John The Baptist called out the sin of King Herod because King Herod had taken his brother’s wife Herodias to be his wife. So Herodias, King Herod’s wife devised a plan to have John The Baptist beheaded. Judas Iscariot who betrayed Jesus with a kiss hanged himself because of his own guilt. Lastly we have Peter who under pressure and fear denied knowing Jesus 3 times. All these stories deal with the same issue. That issue is taking our own faults, disappointments out on others.

So how can we overcome this issue? Well we can display the fruits of the spirit. Galatians 5:22-26,22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. We can remember not to be like Cain. 1-John 3:12,12 Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother’s were righteous.”Let us be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger. James 1:19-20, 19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Lastly, let us love one another. 1 John 4:7, 7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.
Love and Anger



  1. Pingback: As teh Lord Said to Cain when He chose Abel’s Offering: Get that look off your face. family-company-business box scores for #YR and BB with Genesis (of the Bible) parallel | Family, Company, Business

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  3. Mike, I have done the same thing when I was coaching with my son. Men are competitive and want to solve problems. Women want to communicate, strive for peace and expect loyalty. So your wife wants to comfort you when you are stuck in the “solve it” mode of how to improve. She sees you as loyal by taking the time to coach. Loving to spend time with your children. So this “solve it” mentality and the look of disappointment is upsetting to her. Jesus forgave them from the cross in spite of all his pain. So to can you smile through the disappointment “solve it” moments when you are with your family. These special moments are fleeting and need to be realized as the gift from God that they are. All too soon they will be off to college and beyond, leaving you with either great memories or regrets. Please try smiling through the pain and your children and your wife will hold you up in high esteem. So how will this be realized? Someday you will over hear your son tell a story to his friend and it will start with Me and my Dad did….. It gets no better than that until you have grand children, but that story is for another time. Thank you for your blog.


    • The moments are special and unreplaceable. One of the best things about having a relationship with God is that he convicts you when your wrong. That was a convicting moment for me. The thing is though that this happens everday with people not even realizing it. It could be having a long day at work and take it out on your kids. So we got to get to the point that we can recognize what the real problem is and that its not them. or anyone else.


  4. Excellent points bro. Especially about us possessing the fruit of the spirit, which will in turn help us to rid ourselves of those self serving attitudes that we can have.


    • This is a phenomenal depiction of how easy it is to loose sight on some of
      simplest things we experience throughout life. I am deeply moved by your ability to encourage and empower others toward a path of righteousness that will equip us with an invaluable degree of internal peace. These simplistic principles are undeniably ones that I’ve often neglected, but going forward I will be more cognizant with my efforts. This was right on the money cousin and I’m so blessed you are sharing and teaching us. Much love to you and the family and stay blessed.


      • Mike and Robin, I truly appreciate both of you. Your more than friends to us, your family to us, we are blessed to have you in our lives. Tina, I have admired you and Jerome from afar. It was you two who showed me and my sister, that we didn’t have to settle for less or our surroundings. You took us out as kids and showed us that there were a better quality of life out there if we wanted it. You two played a part in where I am today. You and Jerome gave me and Keta something to strive for in our marriage when we got married. I love you cousin, and truly appreciate your support.


  5. Your honesty is refreshing and a wonderful testimony.
    Keep it up my Brother in Christ. God loves you! And, we love you, too. 🙂


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